Hi! This is my best impersonation of someone who has their shit together. FYI - I don’t most of the time but photos like this can make it appear that I do. I have impostor syndrome, big time. There is a voice in my head that is always saying, “Why would anyone care what you have to say?” I recognize it now as a belief that’s been around for as long as I can remember, even though I’ve been writing since I was a little girl and as many of you know, I’m pretty outspoken.
When I first started teaching yoga, I felt like a fraud. I had a huge complex about my age and didn’t think I knew enough about life to offer wisdom to others. When I first started teaching workshops on Ayurveda I was sure someone was going to call my bluff at any moment. They were going to stand up and say, "Who are you to talk about this ancient practice, a former island-hopping party girl?"
I’ll never forget teaching my first Ayurveda workshop at a studio in Northern Virginia. A student who practiced with me all the time came up after and told me how much he learned and appreciated the way I delivered the information. He walked away and the person standing next to me said, “Wow, you should be proud of yourself. You know Mike is a well-respected doctor, right? He's been practicing medicine for years.”
No, I didn’t know. I picked my jaw up off the floor and realized I don’t know a lot of things. But I do know some things. I've put thousands of hours into studying and practicing and teaching yoga. I will never know everything and I don't trust anyone who pretends that they do. I know that we all feel overwhelmingly insecure sometimes. I know that we all have the ability to reinvent ourselves. No matter who you are, I bet we if we sit down together, we can learn something from each other.
Thanks for reading my words and following along and reminding me that people care (sometimes) about what I have to say. Damn. I can't even make that statement without adding "sometimes." We all feel like impostors but that doesn’t mean we are. You don’t have to have your shit together to live a meaningful life. Trust me.
And more importantly, trust yourself.
photos by SweatNET Charlotte